The Generational Divide: When Being Gay is Just Not a Big Deal

     Last week, I traveled to New Mexico to be with my grandmother. Her husband of thirteen years, Rob Hampton, my step-grandpa, passed from health complications.

     I thought Jason was going to need to tranquilize me leading up to the trip. This was the first family function I would be attending since coming out in 2009. 

     I didn't know what to expect. My parents have cut me off, one of my aunts sent me a text making sure I wasn't going to parade my "sin" at the funeral (that is, not bring my partner) and I wasn't sure how the extended family would treat me.

     Everything with the older members of my family was completely civil. I was graciously tolerated, and I knew as long as I didn't talk about my sinful lifestyle peace would remain.

     However, multiple members of my extended family, particularly the younger generation, not only welcomed me warmly but WANTED to know more about my life, my fiance, when were getting married, the situation with my daughters, etc.

     What I realized is that for most of the younger members of my family, me being gay just is NOT a big deal. Furthermore, the younger members of the family felt they could relate to me because I wasn't going to judge them for decisions they have made in their own lives that have caused family controversy.

     I was allowed to visit, participate and be included more in the family activities of the weekend because of these young family members. It helped center me, relax me and I had a great time.

     The older generation was on their best behavior, including my parents who actually talked to me. However, I was reminded not all is well as I was literally saying my last goodbye. As I hugged my grandma goodbye, she gave me an article the entire family received and she wanted me to read it. Rather than just allowing me to leave respecting the older generation's opinion and they, mine, this article asserted how damaging and threatening gay marriage is to society. It was, quite frankly, a shitty send-off.
     Thanks to the younger supportive members of my family, I took the article in stride and put it to good use. It served as a great coaster for my beer I sipped upon my return, curled up next to the man I loved, hoping there are no more family funerals any time soon.