I have discussed with many friends the recent "It Gets Better" movement which has gained momentum since the recent rash of gay suicides. People sharing their "it got better for me" stories, the young Broadway stars uniting for a recording of a song "It Gets Better", and stars and politicians speaking out to bring more attention to the plight of many young gay people have flooded the media and YouTube.
Although "It Gets Better" is a catchy, feel good saying meant to promote hope it can also evoke negative emotions. One friend called me upset, reminding me how in his own life things really haven't gotten better for him over the years. When I was a young gay man growing up in an ultraconservative home in the Southwest, things didn't get better for me until I went so far in the closet I thought I could see Narnia.
For the LGBT community, many of the things that have "got better" over the years have not come as the result of some heartwarming, spontaneous movement unleashed on the masses. Most of the good that the LGBT community enjoys has been the result of the efforts of its own citizenry.
No matter how much we say "It Gets Better", there is no guarantee our society will be any more accepting of alternative sexual orientation a generation from now than it is currently. It's a great dream, but one that can lead to disappointment.
Tomorrow a young gay man will go to school and be bullied and harassed by his peers. Tomorrow an accomplished lesbian lawyer will be passed over for a key promotion because of her sexuality.
What our community needs more than slogans is education and action on how to defend ourselves when needed, persuade others when opportunity affords, and treat our own wounds and push forward; even if things gets worse.
"It Gets Better" may be a catchy slogan, but it does reflect the only way an individual can move forward -- with hope. The slogan, "It Gets Better But You Actually Need To Work At It And Reach Out To Those That Can Be Of Support, Learning How To Cope Through The Bullying, Even Though There Is No Guarantee That Your Life WILL Actually Get Better", isn't quite the sound-bite needed to get attention. Suicide is the result of the loss of hope. And as long as we can inform people that there are resources available to get through the worst, we have given hope to those who hear the message. The second component, of course, is continuing to fight for equal rights, educating the public, and always trying to make the world safer for the LGBT community. When society advances, we will all advance.
ReplyDeleteJason, I'm in general agreement with you. The "It Gets Better" slogan captures the positive testimonials, but fails to empower the young gay teens and show them how to find the inner strength and seek support to deal with their current struggles. The awareness and interest around the "It Gets Better" movement is great, but the slogan falls short from perfect. Not that I can think of a better slogan though. :-)
ReplyDeleteI believe that the testimonials are empowering, giving people a message of hope. "I was where you are, but it got better for me and it CAN get better for you". The only thing that will really help, is continued fighting against bigotry and FOR acceptance and equal rights. Until society's attitude as a whole changes, those of us with strength and "self actualization" need to be active in standing up to the bullies of the world.
ReplyDelete