When "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" was first initiated, I remember thinking, "wow, that's progress. As long as gay men and women don't reveal their sexuality, they can serve their country."
Over time, I realized how wrong I was in my assumption. Over the years, countless men and women, who served honorably and in important roles, were dismissed from the military EVEN when they didn't tell. If someone else outed a squad mate, or if an officer even heard a whisper of same sex behavior, it ended up being grounds for dismissal.
I want to dedicate this post to my partner, Jason. Jason entered the military and was studying at the Defense Language Institute in Monterey, California. It was the early 2000s, and he was studying to be an Arabic translator; a very important role in our military, particularly the past decade.
Like everything else in his life, Jason was very dedicated. Any dating he did was private and on his own time. However, suspicions of his peers and the proverbial he said/she said led Jason to a very important decision. He did not want to somehow be outed, only to be dismissed. He wanted his interaction with the military to be on his terms.
Jason drafted a two page letter to his commander/sergeant/whatever they call him, first outlining all of his accomplishments in the military to date. He followed this with an admission that he was a gay man, and given the climate of Don't Ask, Don't Tell he would rather be honest and up front with the military than hide in the shadows.
As a result, Jason ended up with an Honorable Discharge. His life has since taken a very different track and he is successful in his current career.
But on this day, the day that Don't Ask, Don't Tell if officially repealed, I can't help but ask "what if?" Had my partner been allowed to finish his training and continue serving in the military, what good could he have accomplished? He's brilliant, and bold, but because he is gay he was deemed unworthy to serve a very important role for our nation.
To all of the men and women that have had their military service cut short because of Don't Ask, Don't Tell: thank you for when you were able to serve, and know our country would be better off if each and every one of you had been able to continue service.
