Sunday, February 5, 2012

The Importance of Family

     It has been almost two months since my last post. Life has been busy, and part of that recent busyness was a visit from my gay cousin, Matt.
     Technically my second cousin, Matt's mom is my mom's cousin. We grew up sharing many birthday and holiday celebration together. Four years my junior, we even were in the same high school at the same time for a year.
     Although we spent a lot of time together at family functions, Matt and I never became really close. I think we both saw in the other the truth about our sexuality, and this put up a barrier between us getting closer. We both knew being gay was something our family would not accept easily.
     I tried to come out at age 19, and it went very poorly with my family. I then determined to marry and have a family, because that is what I was "supposed" to do. Matt felt this same pressure, and was engaged to be married.
     Two months before the wedding, he called it off. Wisely, he determined it would be a mistake and made the difficult decision to be true to himself, honest with others and strive for a life of integrity.
     Now both of us are older, and closer than we ever were before. I had such a great time spending time with Matt. He met my partner and stayed with us for an evening. We took him out for his birthday to the Castro area of San Francisco and not only had some great laughs, but also some great talks.
     His parents, although they have some differences with his decision, are supportive and loving. My parents once again cut off all communication last September. My hope is that his parents' example will influence my parents, and they will see the importance of maintaining a relationship with their oldest son.
     Until then, I am overjoyed to have a family member that understands me and that I can share my life with...I love you, Matt!