Four Years Ago: A Letter to the Christian University I Loved

Today, I sent this letter to my former colleagues at John Brown University. JBU is an evangelical, private Christian university that has a Lifestyle Contract for students, faculty, staff and administration forbidding homosexuality:

Four years ago I was one of the most sought after professors at JBU. Students loved my classes and felt challenged, and to this day many continue to seek me out to thank me for my influence.

Four years ago I was respected by most of my peers at JBU. In my 8 years on campus, I helped spearhead multiple initiatives, including a nationally ranked Speech and Debate Team, Film Library, formation of a new minor and major, as well as the Performing Arts Building. For those of you I did not have the privilege of knowing, all you have to do is enter "Jason Hough" and "John Brown University" in Google for pages and proof of the dedication I had to the campus.

Four years ago I was in my tenth year of marriage, having recently celebrated the second birthday of the youngest of my three daughters.

Four years ago, after years of counseling, reparative therapy and even temporary chemical castration with my former spouse's blessing, I finally accepted I was a gay man, divorced my wife and resigned my post at JBU.

Four years ago the majority of Americans did not support gay marriage. Four years ago Exodus International was still the largest international promoter of reparative therapy. Four years ago gay couples had no federal protection. 

Now we are at today. The majority of Americans support gay marriage, Exodus International has closed its doors and issued public apologies for its work, When I marry my partner and fiance next summer we will be recognized in our state and by our country.

I write this not to boast, not to try to persuade you away from your individual theology or to even think any better of me for a decision that hurt many of you as well as the students I loved so dearly. I write this to challenge you to work towards a JBU that leads the discussion in Christian higher education on the place of LGBT students in the church and theology. I write this to challenge you to work towards a JBU that acknowledges it has had gay administration, faculty and staff that not only made JBU a better place in the past, but that there are still gay administration, faculty and staff serving the institution currently in hiding for fear of losing their jobs and ministry.

I made many mistakes during the time I spent hiding my sexuality. I hurt people in the process. But those who knew me also know that in spite of the Jekyll and Hyde existence I lived, I made JBU a better place.

I am now on a tenure track at another institution in California. I am still doing what I love, but there will always be a hole where JBU was. In many ways, I ate, drank and slept JBU. The time for deciding where JBU will go in the future in its theology, standards and treatment of LGBT students, administration, faculty and staff is now, and it is in your hands.

JBU is never far from my thoughts and some of my best memories.

Jason Hough, former Assistant Professor of Communication at JBU