Living the first 36 years of my life as a closeted gay man leading a double life in the South, HIV was something that happened "to other people". I lived in such a denial I did some very stupid things and by all accounts should have contracted HIV or some other venereal disease, but I didn't. My friends I knew who were also closeted never contracted the disease, so it always seemed it was a world away in terms of affecting my reality. I just didn't "get it".
A good friend of mine shared with me today he was just diagnosed HIV+. For a second, I was speechless. Since moving to California I have met individuals and become friends with people who have been dealing with HIV. But my friend's news today knocked the wind out of me. I grieved for him immediately. This friend, this brother I have laughed with, cried with, eaten with and drank with suddenly is someone who has this terrible disease and will have their life forever altered.
I cried and hugged him. I know HIV isn't the death sentence it once was. But now my friend will be dealing with meds, doctor visits and self-disclosure for any guy he dates. The thing he is most scared about: how to tell his family.
Today he kept his spirits up, wanting to be around me and other friends for support. He is feisty and a fighter and I am confident he will battle this every step of the way.
However, his news was a sobering reminder of how mortal and fragile our lives really are, and a reminder any of us, at any time, can have our circumstances change dramatically and alter our lives.
To my friend: I love you, and I am humbled you chose to tell me. No matter where this news takes you, I'm by your side.
To my readers: please send positive thoughts and prayers my friend's way.
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